This is totally something I would do.
“What, you can’t see it? You’re using your eyes wrong. Here, use your eyes like this, it’s easy. Do it. Come on, do it. Use your eyes. No, your eyes. See with your eyes. Yes, you’re looking, but are you SEEING? You need to see. Use your eyes and see. Don’t look. Still nothing? You probably just need glasses. You have contacts? Maybe you need more contacts. Or even better, less-stupid eyes. You probably have the stupidest eyes I’ve ever seen. Not looked; seen.”
I can’t wait to have kids.